March 26, 2011

confessions of an outcast


First of all,aku tak nak cakap pasal marks aku for this mid term exam.let's just pretend that it never happens.yayy.Kat sekolah,aku memang jaga reputation aku.some of you might don't give a shit about it but i do.i totally do.You see,kat kelas aku ada lekat this ninja made out of cardboard(aku tak nak buang lepas camp japanese tu)and every 5 minutes or so,it will fall down sebab tape tak cukup nak lekat.Somehow,aku boleh relatekan diri aku dengan ninja tu.

It's like bila aku make something stupid,or a fuckass lame joke i will stand out in the class.For 5 minutes.And then my spotlight is gone.Like the damn ninja.Cuma berada kat atas board untuk masa yang terlampau singkat keudian jatuh dan kena tunggu orang lekat dia kat atas balik.

The only difference between me and the ninja is that i don't have to wait for someone to put me on top back.I could fucking made me be in the middle of the spotlight by myself.The ninja need a better tape and i need a better me.

Semalam one of my juniors said to me,"kakak ni selalu senyum je".I smiled back and said,"of course..!"
Honestly,i was faking it.I might be smiling but inside,there's nothing could describe it.


Lately i have been dealing with some teen issues.Tak pernah aku terfikir aku akan alami isu-isu remaja yang aku anggap leceh ni.When i told my bunch of friends bout it,i felt much better =)Not only that,i think i have to control my temper.Shizz last year i never give a shit on what anyone says.But now i do.Especially sorang pompuan ni.Damn her.

Someday,orang-orang yang selalu dapat spotlight or attention dalam hidup akan hilang semua populariti yang dia ada dan orang yang cuma dapat spotlight untuk masa yang singkat atau tak pernah dapat will rise on top.Who knows,orang yang selalu dapat spotlight will be working under my ass washing my car.lol.


Entry ni hanya untuk meluahkan perasaan aku sebagai outcast dalam hidup ni.i'm tired and sick of being an outcast,bitches.and imma gonna do something bout it.




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