June 18, 2011

I'm skin and bone,just a king and a rusty throne,the castle's under siege,but the sun outside says leave me alone.

Hey peeps,i'm back to blogging.Yes,i know i haven't updated my blog for quite some time,but that's not what i'll be talking about in this post.

This is what i'll be talking bout instead.Our states level drama competition last Thursday.We lost.We thought that at least we could get the Best Script award,but we didn't.We lost to a school that could get easily disqualified in nationals as they broke some rules there.I never thought my time here in drama team has come to an end for this year.
Sarah,Min Jou,Iver =)

Amirah and Fionaa

Yes,i know i still have next year but can i get a better role?can we kick some ass in states level and kick more asses in nationals?can i prove everyone i can be a great stage performer?Can i?Plus,theres this one bitchy junior who accused me for something i didn't do.

When i got back from the states level,i realized that i didn't bring my baju kurung to change.Great.I ended up going to JLS meeting in my dude outfit.Motherfuckingly embarassing.Okay,back to the story.

Since that day,i've been SOOO depressed.I went back home,i just stared at the wall for 20 minutes while bathing,i didn't pay a single attention during my tuition,i listen to emo songs,i didn't eat at all that night and i cried myself to sleep.Oh and,my family didn't even care about it.I did the same thing on Friday.I thought  could get over it,but i just cant.I spent most of the time staring blankly.I find my stupid blue pen amusing and i kept spinning it.Yes,i did laughed but it's just for a while.My head felt so heavy like yesterday and i kept on crying when i go to sleep.Rawe said that i looked dead.Syahira said i look emotionless.Khaty said,let it be and i should smile.Jia Ying told me that i should forget about it.Everyone told me to cheer up.But what possibly can cheer me up?

Today,my mom and my horrible aunt accompany my sister to a dumbass spelling competition.Oh,how supportive!None of my family members said anything or asked anything about my drama competition.I am SO flattered.And i didn't feel good during fencing.I did some squad launch and i felt like throwing up.I can't even do the most easy thing to do in fencing,launch.Maybe i didn't eat right because of depression?I do not know.I went to the toilet and i threw up and i called my dad to pick me up.I feel so bad leaving Mieza alone there.

My dad told me i gotta be serious in mt studies.He was lecturing me while i was feeling like a cockroach being sprayed by Ridsect.I went home,I slept and i'm still feeling depressed.I woke up and my mom was standing in front of me,lecturing me about my results.First of all,my parent think that getting As is easy as hell.Second of all,I didn't fail,so chill out la.My mom banned me from using the computer for a while.And no more onlining at night.I am such a miserable person.

Lastly,thank you so much to everyone who tried to comfort me last Friday.I am trying not to be so depressed.I will try to come back to school in my normal self.I will try.


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